I have spent my last two years attempting to do ministry that is where my heart is. Loving kids, loving the people, helping people come to know how much God loves them in a deeper way. As I sit at my desk today, I am discouraged. Discouraged as I watch more and more churches (including my own) struggle to make ends meet. Discouraged as I watch more and more of my colleauges leave the ministry because they cannot find full time employment. Disheartened because many of the parents of our kids seem to not think that raising their kids in the faith is important.
I worry and wonder about the future of our church, and the future of our world. What will it look like in another 20 years when these people who so DEEPLY love the church aren't here anymore. In my current setting, if you added 20 years to everyone, 95% of those who attend worship would be no longer with us. That not only scares me, but makes me wonder about where the church is supposed to be going, what we are supposed to be doing differently to raise another generation who loves the Lord and loves serving others.
I guess in all, it is just one of those days that I wonder where God is calling me next...and if it is to stay here, how I am supposed to do that, when the very things that feed me and give me life seem to be dying all around me.
I know, every pastor gets discouraged and disheartened from time to time. How do we keep the faith, keep working, keep following God's will...what advice do YOU have for this first call pastor?
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Thursday, April 8, 2010
With a bit of a broken heart...
It is with a bit of a broken heart that I write this latest blog entry. I just learned that another one of my Luther Seminary classmates committed suicide, and am still in a state of shock.
There are no words for the loss to our world for her leaving it, and no words to the hurt in my heart that another pastor lost all hope and couldn't see any other alternative than to end it all.
With so much suicide happening in my classmates (I believe this is number 4), I wonder at what is happening in the hearts of the people that I sat in classes with and worshiped next to. I hurt for their congregations and their families as they struggle to make sense of a world that is a bit more broken now that their loved ones are not in it.
But I also see it from the side of those who have lost hope. This is not an easy profession to be a part of. It can be easy at times to get so discouraged that the light you are called to preach is the very light you need to hear yourself. I pray for all of you, my friends in ministry, and my friends in other professions, that you find people that will speak the light to you on the dark days. That when things get so dark that you can't find the light anymore, that you have people to show you the way. And if ever, you are in need of someone to speak the light to you, I am a phone call or a click away. I hope you are the same for me. We are called to walk through this life together...to shine with the light of Christ to each other, and to help each other walk through the valley.
Whether you are my close friend, or a stranger who happened across this blog today, know that you don't need to lose hope. Cling to it with all your might. For God, who has promised, is faithful. He loves you today, tomorrow, and always, and NEVER leaves your side.
Keep shining.
Pastor Amy
There are no words for the loss to our world for her leaving it, and no words to the hurt in my heart that another pastor lost all hope and couldn't see any other alternative than to end it all.
With so much suicide happening in my classmates (I believe this is number 4), I wonder at what is happening in the hearts of the people that I sat in classes with and worshiped next to. I hurt for their congregations and their families as they struggle to make sense of a world that is a bit more broken now that their loved ones are not in it.
But I also see it from the side of those who have lost hope. This is not an easy profession to be a part of. It can be easy at times to get so discouraged that the light you are called to preach is the very light you need to hear yourself. I pray for all of you, my friends in ministry, and my friends in other professions, that you find people that will speak the light to you on the dark days. That when things get so dark that you can't find the light anymore, that you have people to show you the way. And if ever, you are in need of someone to speak the light to you, I am a phone call or a click away. I hope you are the same for me. We are called to walk through this life together...to shine with the light of Christ to each other, and to help each other walk through the valley.
Whether you are my close friend, or a stranger who happened across this blog today, know that you don't need to lose hope. Cling to it with all your might. For God, who has promised, is faithful. He loves you today, tomorrow, and always, and NEVER leaves your side.
Keep shining.
Pastor Amy
Monday, March 15, 2010
A Glimpse of the Shut-In Life
After spending 8+ hours in the ER late Friday night, early Saturday morning, I have spent the following 2 days (except for leaving to lead worship!) in my house. I am doing much better, but am still having some abdominal pain, and am completely exhausted. Last night I was just so sick of laying here that I got in my car and drove to Virginia, only to get completely sick, and feel as though I am paying for that adventure this morning!
And I realized that I have been getting a glimpse into what a shut-in's life is like. I am so tired of these walls, feeling hemmed in, and it has only been 48 hours. What must that feel like to never leave the house? My heart goes out to these people as they live the rest of their lives in their houses or nursings homes...only getting out to go to the dr. or the hospital.
I am going to work today, taking it slowly, but filled with the blessing of knowing that though I have to take it slow today, at least I can go to work. Thanks be to God for the blessings He gives us, and for sometimes slowing us down enough to remember them!
Peace,
Pastor Amy
And I realized that I have been getting a glimpse into what a shut-in's life is like. I am so tired of these walls, feeling hemmed in, and it has only been 48 hours. What must that feel like to never leave the house? My heart goes out to these people as they live the rest of their lives in their houses or nursings homes...only getting out to go to the dr. or the hospital.
I am going to work today, taking it slowly, but filled with the blessing of knowing that though I have to take it slow today, at least I can go to work. Thanks be to God for the blessings He gives us, and for sometimes slowing us down enough to remember them!
Peace,
Pastor Amy
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