In the Heart of Finn Country...

Discouraged, disheartened...

2010-09-08T12:03:00.000-07:00

I have spent my last two years attempting to do ministry that is where my heart is. Loving kids, loving the people, helping people come to know how much God loves them in a deeper way. As I sit at my desk today, I am discouraged. Discouraged as I watch more and more churches (including my own) struggle to make ends meet. Discouraged as I watch more and more of my colleauges leave the ministry because they cannot find full time employment. Disheartened because many of the parents of our kids seem to not think that raising their kids in the faith is important.

I worry and wonder about the future of our church, and the future of our world. What will it look like in another 20 years when these people who so DEEPLY love the church aren't here anymore. In my current setting, if you added 20 years to everyone, 95% of those who attend worship would be no longer with us. That not only scares me, but makes me wonder about where the church is supposed to be going, what we are supposed to be doing differently to raise another generation who loves the Lord and loves serving others.

I guess in all, it is just one of those days that I wonder where God is calling me next...and if it is to stay here, how I am supposed to do that, when the very things that feed me and give me life seem to be dying all around me.

I know, every pastor gets discouraged and disheartened from time to time. How do we keep the faith, keep working, keep following God's will...what advice do YOU have for this first call pastor?

With a bit of a broken heart...

2010-04-08T18:37:00.000-07:00

It is with a bit of a broken heart that I write this latest blog entry. I just learned that another one of my Luther Seminary classmates committed suicide, and am still in a state of shock.

There are no words for the loss to our world for her leaving it, and no words to the hurt in my heart that another pastor lost all hope and couldn't see any other alternative than to end it all.

With so much suicide happening in my classmates (I believe this is number 4), I wonder at what is happening in the hearts of the people that I sat in classes with and worshiped next to. I hurt for their congregations and their families as they struggle to make sense of a world that is a bit more broken now that their loved ones are not in it.

But I also see it from the side of those who have lost hope. This is not an easy profession to be a part of. It can be easy at times to get so discouraged that the light you are called to preach is the very light you need to hear yourself. I pray for all of you, my friends in ministry, and my friends in other professions, that you find people that will speak the light to you on the dark days. That when things get so dark that you can't find the light anymore, that you have people to show you the way. And if ever, you are in need of someone to speak the light to you, I am a phone call or a click away. I hope you are the same for me. We are called to walk through this life together...to shine with the light of Christ to each other, and to help each other walk through the valley.

Whether you are my close friend, or a stranger who happened across this blog today, know that you don't need to lose hope. Cling to it with all your might. For God, who has promised, is faithful. He loves you today, tomorrow, and always, and NEVER leaves your side.

Keep shining.
Pastor Amy

A Glimpse of the Shut-In Life

2010-03-15T09:30:00.000-07:00

After spending 8+ hours in the ER late Friday night, early Saturday morning, I have spent the following 2 days (except for leaving to lead worship!) in my house. I am doing much better, but am still having some abdominal pain, and am completely exhausted. Last night I was just so sick of laying here that I got in my car and drove to Virginia, only to get completely sick, and feel as though I am paying for that adventure this morning!

And I realized that I have been getting a glimpse into what a shut-in's life is like. I am so tired of these walls, feeling hemmed in, and it has only been 48 hours. What must that feel like to never leave the house? My heart goes out to these people as they live the rest of their lives in their houses or nursings homes...only getting out to go to the dr. or the hospital.

I am going to work today, taking it slowly, but filled with the blessing of knowing that though I have to take it slow today, at least I can go to work. Thanks be to God for the blessings He gives us, and for sometimes slowing us down enough to remember them!

Peace,

Pastor Amy

Let it Snow, Jesus is Still Coming!

2009-12-23T12:48:00.000-08:00

So I am sitting in my office, should be working on my Christmas Eve sermon, but I am distracted by watching this storm track across the midwest, headed our way. I keep getting interrupted by people calling and asking if we are still going to have worship tomorrow (Christmas Eve), and whether or not things are going to change.

And I can't help but think...first of all, I live like 150 feet from the church. If I can't get there, we must have gotten 6 feet of snow (which we are predicted to get closer to 8 inches!!). Secondly, we will have worship, with whoever can make it.

Why? Because Jesus came. Jesus came to a world that wasn't really ready for him...but had been waiting forever. Jesus came, not in the perfect hospital room, but in a manger full of hay, and in a cave that smelled like animals. Jesus came, and the Word was proclaimed to the shepherds first, the lowest of the low.

Ready or not, here he was, in all his messy glory. And it is for that reason that we gather on Christmas Eve. It isn't because we have always done it...it isn't because we are supposed to do it...we gather because we will never understand the mystery of a God who loved the world so much that Jesus had to be born. We gather because we need to be reminded that in the midst of whatever crazy things are going on in our lives, Jesus comes into the heart of them.

So wherever you are this Christmas, whether you are with your family and friends, or snowed into your house with nothing to do, take the time to celebrate. Because Jesus came for you!

Appreciating my flock...

2009-08-05T08:21:00.000-07:00

So as I sit on my last day of vacation, in Bellingham, Washington, I can't help but think that there really should be a congregation appreciation day. I have been reminded this past week of just how amazing the people at my little church on the Iron Range are, and how very blessed I am to be their pastor.

I get to do ministry alongside people who have knowledge of hard times and tough love, beside people who understand what it is to love the land and celebrate their heritage.

I am blessed to be able to have a congregation who lets me try, fail, and try again, and I am constantly amazed at the amount of love that pours through the people that walk in that door.

So I can't help but wish there was a creative way to appreciate them. To let them know how much I admire their tenacity during hard times, their compassion for each other, and their love for the Lord and the land they live on.

Any ideas on how I might make that happen all you out their in the blogosphere?!?!

Let me know!

Peace,
Pastor Amy <><

Pastor's Taking Time to Grieve...

2009-07-17T10:39:00.001-07:00

I have another funeral this weekend. So today, I sat down to write down to write the sermon for her funeral and was almost instantly stuck. What was my problem? I decided to go out to the cemetary and walk by her headstone (her husband was buried several years ago). It was there as I started to cry that I realized that I will miss this woman deeply. She was one of the first people to recognize me as pastor...one of those shut-ins whom everytime you visit you would learn something, and one of those women who you cannot help but admire.

So today, because of Myrtle, I started a new practice. I put a blanket down on the ground, at the cemetary, pulled out my laptop. I wrote a letter to her...not that she will be able to read it, but as a way of focusing myself, allowing myself a chance to say good-bye, and giving myself some focus to my thoughts that had been all over the place.

It was a time of grieving, cleansing, and just being with God. I consider it a holy moment, and am thankful to God for giving me the idea.

So here's the question for the day...what are some of the ways you grieve? For those of you who are pastors...do you take time to grieve the folks in your congregation before the funeral? After?

Would love to hear your thoughts!

Grace and peace,
Pastor Amy <><

Waiting on God...and Pondering his Plan

2009-05-06T07:26:00.000-07:00

Well my friends, I write to you this morning, thankful for the beauty that surrounds me (it is a glorious day up here in "God's Country"), but also admittidly stressed out about what is going on in the world of my life and my congregation.

We received word yesterday that another 280 people were layed off at one of the local mines, and members of my congregation were yet again in the mix. Then, as I was driving home last night, my car started having issues again.

And it just made me think...how much I need to wait on God and see what his plan is for this time and place I am in. How much I need to trust that all things work for good through him. And just how hard that can really be.

My dad had surgery yesterday, my "fake" grandma had surgery the day before...and now this stuff. It just makes one wonder what God has in store. It doesn't make me question if God is working...because I KNOW that God is working. I just wonder what he has planned, ya know?

Anyway, dear friends of mine...what do you do when you are waiting on the Lord? Do you have favorite verses you read to remind you of God's promises? Music you listen to? People you talk to?

I pray that you are each able to see all the ways God is blessing you today.

Grace and peace,
Amy <><

A thought before bed...

2009-04-25T21:52:00.000-07:00

We have been struggling with the issues of same-gender marriage...as well as the question of whether or not we can ordain folks in same gender monogomus relationships...it was a heated discussion, and made me wonder about the future of our church, and where we are going...I pray that we can find a way to truly be a church that is open to all people, no matter who they are. Afterall, what makes me any better as a pastor just because I am heterosexual? Sheesh.

But I had to share this quote with you, it was said tonight by an amazing woman of God who is in a same gender relationship (and has been for years). She said to the assembly "If Christ mets your family on the road, surely he meets mine too."

And I found myself thinking, how true it is...doesn't God come and meet us where we are, love us for who we are, and ask us to love one another?

That's my thought for the night...what do you think??

Peace,
Amy <><

The joy of networking...

2009-04-25T14:47:00.000-07:00

Networking takes on a whole new level this weekend...I am writing to you all from the synod assembly. It is a joy to be able to worship (having a break from leading!), and spend time in conversation with close friends and new colleagues in ministry. It fills my cup to be able to come to this place, bounce ideas off each other, and just in general be able to check in with other Pastors, AiMs, etc.

As we prepare for our next plenary session, I pray for our synod...I pray that we can follow the guidance of the spirit...be open to listening to each other, and that we can do our best to follow the will of God.

Here's some highlights/quotes from the assembly so far:

*When you are reading scripture, consider "how would I tell this story to a stranger"?
*"We do God's work not because God needs us to, but because our neighbor does."

*What "faith signs" are you leaving for your children?
-Accompaniment
(How are we a God-pointer to the children we encounter?)
-Faith Formation and Leadership Development
(Best youth ministry is a congregation full of adults that are growing in their faith)
-Investment
(How/what do we depost in our youth's faith checkbook?)
*Who posted "Faith Signs" in your faith development?

*The good news (gospel) doesn't end in our hearing...it ends in our telling it to others.

*"Word, Table, and Mission"-this is the call of the church

*"Do you want to believe in God?" "Yes" "For now that is enough."

*What would your congregation look like if we dreamed in scripture?

*"I don't believe the Bible is the Word of God if it is not opened."

*The Bible is the manger in which Christ lies.

Food for thought (to my blog readers)
-What is your favorite scripture?
-Why??

This is the first of multiple posts my friends...stay tuned for more synod info!

Grace and peace,
Pastor Amy <><

Thank God for Easter...

2009-04-11T15:09:00.000-07:00

As I sit here, writing my 7th sermon over the last two weeks, and re-read my last post, I realize just how awesome God truly is. He has seen this congregation that I am so blessed to serve through a really rough few days, and gives us the gift of Easter at the end of it.

It is finally sunny here on the range, and the Easter Flowers are coming in the door, and it is just a lovely time to realize the beauty of God, and the awesomeness of his timing.

I am so thankful for each of you...for the support you have been the past few weeks, for your prayers, your encouragement, your phone calls! You truly renew my spirit!

I pray that each of you can too find renewal in this Easter season! Alleluia! Christ has risen!
Christ has risen indeed! Alleluia!

Grace and peace,
Amy <><

Preaching the gospel when you need it yourself...

2009-04-01T11:46:00.000-07:00

This week has proved to be a challenging one. I am preparing for 2 memorial services, with a possible third coming next week. I just got back from Urban Plunge (25 youth to the cities for a service project), and am trying to get ready for a very full Holy Week.

Meanwhile I am really struggling with a friendship/relationship in my personal life...

It is just a lot on the plate of this new pastor, and I just wish I could go and sit and soak up the gospel somewhere...go back to a place of the mountaintop where everyone loves everyone and the presence of God is palpable.

It feels right now hard to preach the gospel when I feel like I need to hear it myself.

I don't know if it is the winter or all the deaths, or what, but I know that I am finding myself deeply missing my friends, and the joy that I had when I first started this job.

Hopefully this is just a funk that can be overcome. It was suggested by a friend of mine to just keep going...and one of the quotes that hangs on my bulletin board in my office says this: "Practice is to Judaism what belief is to Christianity. Your faith may come and go but your practice ought not to waiver." (The quote is from my favorite author, Lauren F. Winner)

So, I am doing my best to keep going, hoping that God will put the encouragement, hope and joy back into my life that I am lacking so much right now.

What about you?? What do you do when you go through tough stretches of time? Do you have any suggestions?

Until the next post...grace and peace to you my friends!
Amy <><

Keeping Sabbath...

2009-03-14T12:42:00.000-07:00

This Sunday we have the opportunity to preach on the 10 Commandments. I was looking at the list this week and was thinking that the one we break most often is the commandment about Sabbath. So we, at Saint Mark's are going to be talking about Sabbath, and hopefully coming up with some ideas that would help us be more intentional about keeping Sabbath.

I wanted to share with you a poem by Wendell Berry that I came across this week. Wendell Berry is one of my favorite authors...he is known for taking a walk every Sunday morning and then going home and writing a Sabbath poem...here's one he wrote a few years ago.

Whatever is foreseen in joy
Must be lived out from day to day.
Vision held open in the dark
By our ten thousand days of work.
Harvest will fill the barn; for that
The hand must ache, the face must sweat.
And yet no leaf or grain is filled
By work of ours; the field is tilled
And left to grace. That we may reap,
Great work is done while we're asleep.
When we work well, a Sabbath mood
Rests on our day, and finds it good.

May you each find time this week to spend in Sabbath. Turn off the phone, don't go online...just spend time with the one who created you!

Grace and peace,
Amy <><

A God of Promises...

2009-02-28T08:08:00.000-08:00

I am working on this week's sermon...and am struck by the number of promises that God gives in this week's texts. From the rainbow that holds the promise for Noah (and for us) to 1 Peter where we are given the promise of baptism...and then onto the gospel text where Jesus is sent into the wilderness and the angels wait on him.

Up where I am a pastor things are becoming more and more difficult economically...the word came this past week of 590 layoffs at our local mine. People are nervous and worried about where the future will take them.

What a gift we have been given that we get these texts. God promises never to leave us...never to destroy us. 1 Corinthians 10:13 says ..."God is faithful, and he will not let you be tested beyond your strength but with your testing he will also provide the way out so that you may be able to endure it."

It is my hope that whatever you have to endure in the coming days that you can remember the promise that God has made to you in your baptism. My congregation will each be taking a colored stone out of the water-filled baptismal font as a reminder of these promises. I encourage you to find yourself a reminder of these promises...that you can look at on the really tough days...and so that you can always remember that God, your God is with you wherever you go.

Grace and peace,

Amy <><

From Epiphany to Lent..

2009-02-21T08:56:00.000-08:00

I am sitting at Big Timber Coffee Company as I write this latest blog entry, contemplating the transition from Epiphany to Lent. It is interesting that Transfiguration Sunday is the transition...with the suggestion made to build dwellings on the mountain top and stay there. Part of me wants to stay in Epiphany too...to just enjoy getting to know Jesus through the eyes of others...to not have to transition to the place where Jesus goes through such trials and hangs on a cross for me (and for you).

But in my growing in my faith, and the older I get, the more I am starting to like Lent. It is a time for me to reflect on my own life, and my own relationship with Jesus. It adds another worship service to the week, which I actually love. I have been doing some experimenting with praying the "hours" (as some monastaries do, etc), and truly love spending more time focusing in on my time with God, and where God is calling me/who God is calling me to be.

I know that feeling of wanting to stay up on the mountain top....but without the valleys (the challenging times of our lives, the questioning in our faith, etc), we wouldn't be nearly as able to celebrate the true joy that is found in the resurrection.

It is my hope as you enter this Lenten season that you too can have time to spend with Jesus...and that you can know in a deeper way just how much God loves you!

Peace,
Pastor Amy <><

Wishing all were welcome...

2009-02-04T09:24:00.000-08:00

Not this past week, but the week before, I became again aware of just how guarded a community I am living in. I would like to believe that in the world we live in that it is safe for people of all backgrounds and beliefs to walk into our sanctuaries and worship with us. But I was reminded yet again how small this fishbowl of pastoral life can be, and how much people can make comments about others and not even realize that they are making them.

I was sitting at "coffee an'" (the third Lutheran sacrament?!?), and chatting with folks, and within a half an hour heard 3 comments about homosexuals that made me cringe. The people at my church and in my community do not know that I have many friends that are homosexual, and perhaps they would never guess that...but I couldn't help but wonder what my friends would have thought, had they been sitting beside me.

There have to be people in this congregation that have relatives and friends who are homosexuals as well, and it hurt my heart to know that I am working in a place where people might not feel welcomed and loved just for being a child of God.

Sometimes I think we need the reminder of the woman caught in adultery...let he/she who is without sin cast the first stone...I mean honestly, we all have different beliefs, ways of living, ways of thinking, ways of coping with this challenging life, and what makes any one person's beliefs better than the other?

I just want to be pastor of a place that is truly welcoming...I guess today I find myself wondering how do I help my congregation and surrounding community to open our eyes to see the beauty that is to be found in those different than us. I don't want to live in a world where everyone is the same as me. I want to be challenged, and I want to see all the amazing aspects of God in the world and the people around me.

So my question for you oh blog followers of mine...have you run into this open stereotyping in your own congregations? What (if anything) have you done about it?

Until the next post my friends, may God bless and keep you well!
Amy <><

DIfferences that are found in death...

2009-02-02T17:24:00.000-08:00

I am sitting in my office this evening, trying to come up with the texts and a sermon for a funeral that I have this week...but I must admit this one really has me thinking.

The last funeral I had was for a man in his mid 50s who had died of cancer. It was a hard funeral, complete with military honors, and the church was packed.

The funeral this week will be for another amazing woman of God, who lived a simple life, and loved it, but ended up dying from complications of dementia. She was only in her 60s.

As I spoke with people at the visitation, many of them commented about how this death wasn't a sad death...that it was a mixed blessing because of her struggle with dementia for the past ten years.

And so here I sit, just thinking...these deaths are so different and yet so the same. The people are still grieving the loss of their loved one, but they also see the blessing that she is now with her Savior, and has been given a new life...she is a new creation.

I am glad to be able to be the pastor to these people, given the chance to get a glimpse into who their loved ones are, and who they are. I know I am blessed, so very blessed to be able to be a part of this place. I just hope that whenever my time comes to die, that people can find the joy that is found in this funeral this week...knowing that I too am in a better place...knowing that I too have become a new creation!

May it be the same for all of you.

And may you find ways this week, to count your blessings, because whether or not you realize them, they are abundant!

Grace and peace,
Amy <><

My first Christmas...

2009-01-12T08:00:00.000-08:00

So I looked at my blog today, and realized that it had been FOREVER since I have written last! Crazy how that happens! December was a busy month at church, but it was wonderful as well. We had the Sunday School Christmas program on Dec. 21 which was a ton of fun, as we used puppets for some of the characters. (My favorite moments was when the 3rd Wisemen, who was a puppet was carried to the front of the church by the scruff of his neck!!)

Christmas Eve brought quite a few folks to our two different worship services. After talking to other pastors in the area, it sounds like our numbers were pretty good. so that is great. The 4:00 service was a children's service, where we talked through the story using a nativity scene. The 10:00 was more contemplative with communion. Both were a LOT of fun.

It was about -18 on Christmas Eve, so lighting the 100 luminaries was chilly, but we got it done, and it was beautiful!

Now we are getting ready for our annual meeting, and things are busy, busy, busy. I must say I am excited to go down to convocation at Luther and reconnect with old friends.

I hope you are all doing well in your ministry. If you get a chance, share your favorite part of Christmas this year!

Grace and peace to y'all!
Amy <><

SLOW DOWN!!! (In the Waiting...)

2008-11-24T10:46:00.000-08:00

So I find myself today thinking that people (including myself) just really need to slow down. We have had a run of accidents (auto-related) in our church recently, and came very close to losing a couple of members. One accident happened when someone ran a stop sign, and another happened because of slippary roads.

But I couldn't help but think that both of the accidents (one of which was fatal) could have been avoided if people had just slowed down. We are going too fast in our society, and we don't even realize that by going so fast we are missing life entirely.

As we approach the Advent season, and are celebrating Thanksgiving...life all around us is already at Christmas. It is this hurry up and get through mentality that has a lot of folks depressed and despondent.

I was reading the Isaiah text for Sunday (Isaiah 64:1-9), and thinking about how we feel like Isaiah felt...that if God would tear open the heavens and come down that life would be better.

I spent a bit of this morning journalling for this first time since becoming a pastor. I just haven't been taking the time to do it. And I realize that I need to slow down too. I am adament in our church that we won't have Christmas before Christmas...the lights are not going to be turned on the tree until Christmas Eve, as a symbol that Christmas doesn't come during Advent. We need to slow down and recognize that in the waiting God is working. In the waiting we can see others and help others. In the waiting we can hear God speaking...

So my friends...I wish you peace in the waiting. Take some time this week, and in the coming weeks to appreciate Advent for what it really is...a time to wait...a time to prepare our hearts, and a time to slow down and appreciate all that God is doing-in the waiting time.

Grace and peace,
Amy <><

When it rains...

2008-11-07T11:02:00.000-08:00

Ah, what a week. I just finished a funeral for an amazing father of 7, who was a miner, a dairy farmer, and a World War II Vet. I am off to meet with a family of man who died last night who was one of the most amazing men I have ever met in my life.

What I wonder as I transition from one family to the other, is how a pastor keeps it all together sometimes. Funerals are wonderful chances to meet family members, and join together to celebrate the hope we have in the resurrection, but they also are incredibly draining.

The man whose funeral I will be doing next week was such a blessing in my life. I hope that you all can meet such amazing men...those who love their family, their country, and their neighbors.

God is good through it all...

If you have a chance, please say thank you to the folks you know who are veterans this week. They deserve a world of gratitude.

Until next post...

Peace to y'all!
Amy <><

How to hold it all together...

2008-10-22T08:40:00.001-07:00

Do you ever have days when you just wonder how on earth you are supposed to hold it all together? I am so over the top right now I feel like I can't even breathe. I am so tired I can't even think, and so overextended that I feel like I am being pulled in a million different directions.

I know that God will never give me anything that He and I can't handle together, but right now I just need to take the time to breathe. ...

In the midst of writing this post, I just received a phone call from a friend. What an amazing gift of God it is to hear a caring voice on the other end of the phone! He uplifted my spirits, and gave me the strength to keep going today.

So, if you have free time, call your friends...you never know when it might make all the difference for someone.

Grace and peace,
Amy <><

The Gift of Having Parents Who are Pastors.

2008-10-07T08:11:00.000-07:00

I made it through surgery my friends, and now am trying to be back at work. Because surgery was on Friday afternoon, try as I might, I just was not able to do the entire service on Sunday...which meant my Dad, who is also a pastor filled in for me. My Mom, who is a pastor too (nothing like keeping it in the family!), preached while I was in the hospital two weeks ago. One of my parishoner's joked that when they called me, they didn't realize that they were getting the whole troop! :)

Being a double pastors' kid has had its ups and downs, but I must say after these last three weeks, that I was a double pk for a reason!

For now I am trying to keep smiling and keep working. I am hopeful that the pain I am feeling will get less with each day, and that once I get the stint removed, I will be a bit more back to "normal".

Thanks f0r your thoughts and prayers. I will write again soon.

Grace and peace,
Amy <><

Waiting for Friday...

2008-10-01T09:48:00.000-07:00

So now I have found out that I will be having surgery on Friday, which is really, really scary. I hope that it will go well, and that it will get rid of the pain that I have been feeling lately...but as with every surgery there are risks in going under general anesthesia, etc.

I am asking for your prayers as I do my best to make it through surgery and recovery, and want you to know that I am blessed...so blessed to have you all in my life.

May God grant you peace today in the midst of all you are doing.

Traveling mercies,
Amy <><

Life is really, really good...

2008-09-27T12:20:00.000-07:00

My friend who lives in Norway has a blog entitled "Life is really, really good..." and I have truly felt that way lately. It is amazing how awesome life can feel when you are able to spend time being who God is calling you to be. I have spent the last two days playing with my brother's kids (and my brother and sister-in-law too!), and have had a blast, and now I am back in the church office trying to get some stuff done before I hit the road for the synod's fall theological conference. And as crazy as this coming week is, with a conference, and starting confirmation from the ground up, and two weddings and worship to get ready for?? I wouldn't have it any other way. I love it here, and love the people, and God is such an awesome and living God.

My hope for you this day, is that you too can feel soon that life is really, really good.

Until then, my prayers and thoughts are with you!

Peace,
Amy <><

These people are amazing...

2008-09-21T13:11:00.000-07:00

So today was my first Sunday back at church after being in the hospital last week, and I must say, this congregation and their compassion continue to amaze me. They were so concerned, and so excited to have me back, and I am excited to be back at work too. We will see what the doctor has to say tomorrow...about whether or not the kidney stone has passed...but for now, the people of this congregation have restored my courage, and my hope that each day I am getting better, and I am in a place where I am incredibly loved.

Peace to y'all!
Amy <><

This too shall pass...

2008-09-18T18:03:00.001-07:00

For those of you who do not know, this past week has been filled with the adventure of getting to know the medical facilities in Aurora. I ended up calling for an ambulance on Saturday morning about 2 am because of severe pain in my back, was rushed to the ER, and admitted to the hospital about 2 hours later with a diagnosis of a kidney stone. I was in White Community Hospital for 2 days, and now am at home, still not feeling that great, waiting for the stone to pass.

My mom came up while I was in the hospital, and I was reminded what a blessing she is in my life, and what an amazing care giver she is as well.

Hearing far too many horror stories of kidney stones, and the procedure that I might have to have done this coming week if it doesn't pass, I am praying that it will, and praying for patience as well. I am doing my best to
still find ways to get done what needs to get done, and not over do at the same time.

So here's the thing I have been wondering...it is my experience that tough health stuff tends to happen in my life for a reason...either to help me be more compassionate to others, to strengthen my ministry to families going through similar challenges, etc. I think this may be to teach me to be more patient and depend more on the Lord...

But here is what I am contemplating...does God let this happen so that we can learn the lessons we need to? Or does God work through the challenges to teach us the lessons?

Maybe that sounds the same to you, but I was just wondering. Needless to say, it has been a roller coaster. For now, I must head home. I am feeling a bit dizzy/nauseated at the moment.

Thanks for reading...hope I have better news to post soon!

Peace,
Amy <><

Forgiveness and the hurt of the church...

2008-09-10T16:33:00.000-07:00

God opened my eyes today, in a really big way. I was sitting at a WELCA meeting, getting to know some of the ladies that make our church run, and one of the women who I had just met earlier that morning started talking about why she doesn't come to church or volunteer as much as she would like.

You see, she tried to volunteer with the women's group, and was dealt with harshly because she did something incorrectly. She has only recently started coming back to try and help again, claiming to be "older and tougher" than she was when she was hurt.

I couldn't help but wondering at the timing of the conversation. I had been pondering the sermon for this Sunday...the text is about forgiveness...how many times are we to forgive? 7 times? 77? 7 x 7? The short answer is we are to forgive over and over...

But our conversation got me thinking about how much we as "church" hurt people without even realizing it. And that breaks my heart. I know I am called to this congregation to "bring back the joy"...but now I am wondering if we also might need some time of reconcilliation...time where we recognize that just as we have all been hurt, we have all hurt others as well.

It is such a blessing that our God is better at forgiveness than we are!! So, wherever you are today, and whatever you are struggling with, don't forget that just as hurt as you feel, that you have hurt others, and don't forget that through it all...through the hurting and the being hurt, our God is a God of love and forgiveness. And God forgives us more times than we can count!

Grace and peace,
Amy <><

From the "Pastor's Desk"...

2008-09-08T16:42:00.001-07:00

So I am sitting in the office on a Monday night...my ordination was on Saturday. It was so much fun, and so filled with blessings. A good friend of mine preached, and I was so glad that Darin could be a part of the day...he helped me survive internship, and will, I hope, be a colleague of mine for many years to come.

But today? Today I am sitting here and just feeling a bit overwhelmed by it all. I am excited to have made it to this point, but also just feeling like I don't know where to start, since there are so many things on my plate right now.

I am excited to see the work that God can do through me here at Saint Mark's. I am excited to see how God continues to have hands and feet through the people here. They are amazing, and I am excited to be a part of it.

For now, I am reminded of the prayer of Saint Francis...Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace;where there is hatred, let me sow love;where there is injury, pardon;where there is doubt, faith;where there is despair, hope;where there is darkness, light;and where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master,grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;to be understood, as to understand;to be loved, as to love;for it is in giving that we receive,it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

And in addition to that, my own prayer adds this...In the fear I am feeling, just use it for your glory. For you God, work all things for good.

Amen...and Amen.

~Amy <><

Balancing Life in Rural Ministry...

2008-08-30T13:36:00.001-07:00

Today is the first day I have been lonely out here. And not just a little lonely, but like down to the bone lonely. It is a hard adjustment to go from being really busy at two churches to being in the middle of the country with one. I am actually looking forward to starting work to have something to do. I am interested in seeing how this goes...life in the heart of finn country...I have a feeling that just as my ministry will be a challenge, so will my social life. All I hope right now, is that it gets better than today.

On another note, this week is going to be a big one. I meet with the family we are doing Tuesday's memorial service with tomorrow. Monday I hope to get some office work done and get things ready for the memorial service. Tuesday I have prayer group and the memorial service (and I think a committee meeting at night). Wednesday I have a graveside service for someone else. Thursday I have Interchurch Ministries, and Friday my friends and family start coming for my ordination which is Saturday. Sunday is my first service here...and then the week starts again.

Maybe I will go work on things for the service now. That will take my mind off today.

I must confess this funk I am in also is because a couple of pretty important folks aren't coming to my ordination. My "adopted" grandma is not able to come for health reasons, and my friend Paul isn't coming because he couldn't get off work. Yuck.

At any rate, as my Mom would say "Today isn't forever it just feels like it!"
Off to get some office work done...

Chat at ya later!
Amy <><

Listening to the clock chime...

2008-08-28T14:03:00.000-07:00

I am sitting in my office, and the clock just chimed here at my church where I will soon be ordained and officially become "Pastor Amy". It is an overwhelming moment, filled with excitement and fear. I just finished moving my predecessors files, etc into boxes so that the office would be as I hope to have it...and as I moved his things, I thought about all the wonderful ministry that has happened here over the years. Our church has been through some hard times and some wonderful times, and it is somewhat overwhelming as I sit at the beginning of this journey to think what the next pastor will find when they move into this office. I pray that the church will be a blessing for years to come, and that God can use me to minister to these people and this community...for they surely are already ministering to me!

The clock that chimed reminded me that God is in all things...through the ups and downs of this adventure of ministry...God watches over it all, and I am so thankful.

"Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever."

Praise be to God!
Amy <><

Are you who you want to be??

2008-08-22T09:11:00.000-07:00

So I had coffee with a great friend this morning...one of those friends who is completely real and whom you leave thinking about what he said all day long.

We were talking about what it is like to be going into first call, and what I am excited about or scared about, etc, and during that conversation he talked about having people in your life who ask you "are you who you want to be?"...meaning that if you aren't behaving so hot, they call it to your attention.

These type of friends, who know all your stuff and love you anyway...these type of friends who love you enough not to leave you where you are...they are so integral to us becoming who God is calling us to be.

He is this type of friend to me (he isn't the only one, thankfully!), and I will miss him dearly when he moves to Norway. As I go over our conversation in my head now, sitting at the natural food co-op, I wonder who these people are going to be for me in my new call. I know that I need them, but I also know that they can be hard to find.

I look forward to getting to know the people better in my congregation, and creating a mutual ministry team...a team of people who encourage me when I need it, and who ask me "are you who you want to be? or are you who God is calling you to be?" We all need these kind of people, and it is my prayer that you find them in your lives as well.

Grace and peace,
Amy <><

I'm diving in...

2008-08-21T12:12:00.000-07:00

So I have this song in my head today...
"I'm diving in
I'm going deep
In over my head I wanna be
Caught in the rush
Lost in the flow
In over my head I wanna go
The river's deep
The river's wide
The river's water is alive
So sink or swim
I'm diving in" --Steven Curtis Chapman "Dive"

I haven't officially started at the church yet, but have several meetings scheduled, as well as a wedding and a graveside service. The most exciting part though? The most exciting part is knowing that although right now I feel so incredibly overwhelmed that God is in control of it all, and with Christ, all things are possible!

All we can do is "dive in" and let God use us to bring others to know Christ. What a great blessing that is!

It's official!!

2008-08-08T09:18:00.000-07:00

As of Sunday, I was called to be a pastor in the Northeast Minnesota Synod. I am excited to have a congregation, and have a place to be who God is calling me to be. My ordination date is set for September 6th, and I am calling to arrange when my first day will be this morning. I will let you know.

Until then, I am enjoying a week in Bellingham with my best friend. I will move to the parsonage on August 15th...so unil my internet is set up there-

God's peace to y'all!

Waiting for first call...and finding peace!

2008-07-28T08:55:00.000-07:00

Ah, the joy continues in this hurry up and wait call process...but God is good through it all. I am waiting anxiously for August 3. Excited to be possibly called to a congregation with potential for growth, and challenged to be called to a congregation where one of the call committee folks told me that they hoped a new pastor could “bring back the joy”. I left that interview about a month ago thinking...now “joy”, that is something I can do.

Now I just hope that it is God’s will that I go to this amazing place with it’s loving people.
But the waiting? The waiting is a challenge. So today, in the midst of my waiting, I walked the dog, picked raspberries, worked out at the Y, and now am headed for a glass of iced tea at my favorite coffee shop...

and I realize-

What a gift to be able to have peace while I wait. So today? Today I thank God for the waiting!
And for the rest of you, who might also be waiting for first call? Enjoy the wait...do stuff for yourself, and slow down and pick the raspberries!

Grace and peace, and traveling mercies!
Amy <><

Awaiting The Call...

2008-07-26T11:10:00.000-07:00

I just had my last day as a seminary resident-intern. Today I woke up as "Amy". It is a weird feeling to no longer be called "Vicar Amy", but I am also excited at the idea of someday soon being "Pastor Amy". As I pack up my current parsonage, and dream of what it will be like to unpack in the next parsonage, I also come to the realization that I am about to be called as someone's pastor...may God give me words to say, and may He use me to show his love to all that I meet.

May I live a life worthy of the calling to which I have been called! (Eph 4)

Grace and peace to you!
Amy <><